This weekend is a very special weekend. Sadly, for many they only view this weekend as a day to go to the lake, go to parties or cookouts, or to hang out at the pool with their friends. Don't get me wrong - I am enjoying those things too. However, we must remember what this day is for. My grandfather was in the military, and every time I look at the American Flag that was draped over his casket, but now resides in my house, I remember not only what a great man he was and how much I love and miss him, but I also think about the men and women who gave their all. Did they give their all because of the status it would bring them? No. They gave their all because they believed in their cause - the cause to ensure freedom for their fellow Americans and generations to come. I recently lost a cousin, who was extended family I never met,in the war in Afghanistan. Technically, he was past the cut-off age to join the military, but he loved his country so much and was so passionate about what he believed in, he was allowed to join. His immediate family has been on my mind today. To those who served, I say thank you. For those who have relatives who gave everything, I say thank you. Thank you for instilling that sense of pride and dedication to a cause so that I can live a free life.
Although I celebrate the true reason for why this day is special, this Memorial Day has a different meaning for me this year as well. As you all know who read my blog, I am on this great journey we call "weight loss". Some of you also may refer to it as "the journey to Hell", the "what do you mean I can't eat a entire bag of Oreos?" lifestyle, or the ever popular "Diet - it's only the word "die" with a "t" at the end." mantra. I have come to accept the fact that I am a food addict, and part of admitting and working through that, is recognizing your triggers. This week has been very trying for me. When I get upset, I want to eat. I don't really care what it is. In fact, the more calories the better, because we all know that the more calories it contains, the better is tastes!
Last weekend was a really good weekend for me food-wise. We went to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law's house for a break and to see Dave Matthews in concert. It was a great time. We have so much fun with them. My sister-in-law and I have been friends for 27 years, so it is like hanging out with friends who just happen to be family. I also got to see my sister and her husband because they kept Addisyn so we could have an adults only weekend. Normally, I would say "This is a free weekend. I will eat whatever I want and not feel guilty about it." But, I decided that I would try really hard to do good. I weighed on Friday before we left, and when we got back, I weighed again and lost 0.4 lbs. Not too shabby, not too shabby.
However, I had an emotional setback early in the week. I have dealt with a lot of things in my life, but there is still one issue I deal with almost daily. It is one of my biggest triggers for gorging myself. I cried most of Monday, but a great friend said, "Hey - let's go to lunch and just talk." I picked Subway because I knew I could control what I ate there. We ate lunch together, and of course she made me laugh like she always does when I am around her. By the end of it, I felt better. However, I would still hear those words in the back of my mind that continue to be a haunting voice of defeat and self-loathing. I came home, we had dinner, and later that night, after Addisyn had gone to bed, I got on the treadmill. I walked/ran, and while I was doing that, I worked through some stuff in my mind. Am I completely "fixed"? No. But, after I worked out, I felt better. I came back to the living room and sat down on the couch. Bubba came and sat down next to me and said some of the most uplifting and loving words I think he may ever said to me (other than "What are you doing the rest of your life?"). He looked at me and said, "I''m proud of you." I looked at him puzzled and said, "For what?" He said, "You had a really bad day. And you came home, ate sensibly, didn't overeat, and you exercised. I'm really proud of you. That's good, baby." I turned my head, and I don't know if he saw or not, but I had tears in my eyes. It was then that I realized that I CAN control my emotions when it comes to eating. I did it!! Do I have it conquered forever? Probably not, but I know it's possible.
This morning, I got up and weighed liked I do every Sunday morning. I just wanted to see a small loss - something to prove that I did good, and everything that I went through all week was worth it. I lost 4.2 lbs this week. I got off the scale, hit it with my foot to reset it, and got back on. I couldn't believe it. I did it!! I got past my first emotional obstacle, but I am not naive to believe that it won't happen again. But today, May 27th, will serve as a memorial of my own - that food doesn't control me. My emotions can control me at times, but they didn't win this week. Take that, sucka!!
I am often afraid to put myself out here in "Blogville" because it is like living a reality tv show. Everyone gets a glimpse in your life. And to probably some fault (and stupidity) of my own, I am pretty straight-forward and transparent on here. Whatever I am feeling, you will probably know. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I don't hide my emotions very well. Hopefully, though, I can encourage someone along the way.
So, to everyone who is military, whether active or current, thanks again for protecting me. And to myself - way to go!! You can do this, even in the midst of having a craptastic start to your week. And to those who are on this journey with me - what will be your own personal Memorial Day? Whatever it is - make it count.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Run, Forrest!! Run!
One of my favorite movies is Forrest Gump. I love Tom Hanks. He did a great job as Forrest, Forrest Gump. So many memorable lines in the movie. "Stupid is as stupid does." "I think it was her grandma's dog." "Dear God, please make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away." One of my favorite parts is when Forrest and Jenny are coming home from school, and the boys start chasing him down the dirt road and into the field. Jenny yells out to him, "Run, Forrest!" And he runs off, to the point his legs look like they aren't even touching the ground. How awesome would it be to run that fast!! To feel the wind in your hair, the ground beneath your feet. Aahh - running in the wide open. This is how I picture myself when I run.I have recently started a running interval program. I am not very fast, but man, I feel like I have conquered the world. There I am - just me and the treadmill (the world isn't ready to see me run in public!), running my cares away, burning up whatever I ate for lunch that day. Yes, sir. That's me!!! Tearin' it up!! Oddly, as much as I would like to look in the mirror and see myself running with ease as Forrest Gump does, I see more of this:
I have never minded exercise. I mean, sure, no one LOVES exercise, unless you are one of those sick-minded, twisted souls, but sometimes it was what I needed. To go to the gym and just walk or work out and feel like I accomplished something. But the one thing I never, ever did was run. I am a big girl, so there are certain things that big girls can't do and feel confident about, and plus, it scared me. I would walk as fast as I could, until we got close to running, and I would stop. I would hear in the back of my mind "Run!", but the other voice, would say, "Are you crazy?? Here, have another brownie! That'll shut you up for a while! Can't run if you have a mouth full of brownie!" And sadly, I would listen to the brownie voice.
This past week, though, I found myself walking and I would hear "Run". At first, it scared me, but then I thought, "I'm at home. If I look like Sweetums from the Muppets, who cares?" So, I would do small jogs, no more than 20-30 seconds at a time. When I stopped and recovered (again, I'm a big girl - running for 20-30 seconds was a miracle), I would think, "I did it". I would walk a little and try it again. And, so started my attempt at taking my exercise routine a step further.
Last night, I ran and I would do 1 minute of running on each interval, up to a 3.8, which was very good for me, since I was barely functioning at 3.5 last week for 30 seconds. I was running last night, and as I was doing the intervals, my body longed for the walking portions. "What have we done to you?" I could hear my legs scream. "For the love of all that is holy, make it stop!! Make it stop!!", my feet cried out. But in all of that, I kept reminding myself of one thing - , you can do this and you ARE doing it.
I can tell that my clothes are a little more loose, and I lost 4.2lbs last week, so I think that had something to do with it. While I was running last night, I could see my reflection in our shower wall (my treadmill faces our bathroom), and in it, I could see my ponytail rocking back and forth, my arms pumping at my sides, and a person who looked a little more confident than they did last week. I am slowly becoming more of the person I want to be.
Run, Forrest!! Run!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mother's Day
Mother's Day is tomorrow. Are you ready? I am cleaning house today and preparing the menu for my mom to come over after church tomorrow for lunch. Lots to do, but I wanted to stop and write a minute.
I hope my blogs have inspired some of you to live better, appreciate life more, make better health choices, maybe even attempt something you never thought possible as I am attempting my own feat of losing weight. I have tried to add humor in each blog, but today, I wanted to inspire you to do something else. Think.
You see, for years, I hated Mother's Day. Not because I had a terrible mom or anything, but it was a reminder each year of what a failure I was because we didn't have kids, even though we had tried for years. I attended church service after church service of moms being honored for everything they had done, for loving their kids sacrificially, and for being just downright awesome. And with each word spoken of "You have done so much", I heard "You can't do anything." With "You are so awesome", I heard "You are a complete failure."
Most of you know my story. For those that don't, Bubba and I tried to have a baby for 7 years. I tried fertility medicine, diet, exercise, Metformin, and tons of prayer. I was devastated each month when I discovered I wasn't pregnant. Failure. Loser. Less of a woman. I had dreams of being pregnant and going to the hospital to have a baby, but I would wake before I saw the baby. Do you know what a disappointment that was? In August of 2007, I had a differnt dream. I was at the hospital, except I missed all the labor, and was holding a beautiful baby who had tons of hair and chubby cheeks. I kept saying, "I Can't Believe I'm A Mommy", and in that dream, I started singing, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His Word. Just to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord." I could finally see the baby. My heart soared, and then I woke up, devastated because it was so close, yet so far away.
In October of 2007, my doctor called me when I was home on my lunch break, and she informed me that my levels were lower than they had ever been. "Stacy, I will agree to do one more round of medicine, but if that doesn't fix it, I am afraid there is nothing else we can do." Those words hit me hard. I hung up the phone, collapsed onto the floor of my kitchen, and began to pray. Actually, it was more crying and sobbing than praying, but somewhere during the tears, I managed to pray, "God, I have been faithful. Your Word says You will be faithful to me. It's time I see it. I can't do this anymore." I continued to cry and weep. I can't describe in words how HARD I cried. So hard in fact, that I physically hurt after it was all over. I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my tears, and went back to work - red-faced and swollen eyed.
Two weeks later, we were helping some friends move, and I told my friend that I was 2 weeks late, and I figured I needed to go ahead and take a pregnancy test because that always seemed to trigger my body's natural response to your body is designed to do each month. A couple of days later, I stopped by Kroger and bought a test, ran through Burger King drive-thru, and went home. I called Bubba and told him what I had done, and he will tell you now, that he began to brace himself for me calling and crying because another month of failing was about to rear its ugly head. I went home, took the test, and sat down to eat my burger. I waited the 3 minutes, walked into the bathroom, and picked up the test. "Pregnant." I blinked a couple of times and looked again. "Pregnant". I started crying and saying, "Oh my God! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!" I called Bubba and attempted to form a sentence of "I'm pregnant!" After a couple of times of attempting it, Bubba finally said, "Baby, I love you, but I can't understand a word you are saying." I took a deep breath and said, "We're going to have a baby!" And after 7-1/2 years of trying, through months and months of tears and aggravation, my husband's response was "Cool". Cool? That still makes me laugh.
9 months later, after a problem free pregnancy, my beautiful daughter, Addisyn Dianne Sapp, was born. She had chubby cheeks a head full of hair just like in my dream.
I couldn't believe that all my prayers, and literally dreams, had come true. She has blessed my life so much. I never thought I would enjoy being a mom as much as I have. I look at her sometimes and think, "Wow! She's really mine!!" I sometimes stare at her just so I can engrave her picture in my mind. The goodness of God is prevalent, and the tangible reminder of His promise and faithfulness to me sleeps across the hall from me each night. And she loves Jesus with everything she has. She prays for her teachers and friends. I have been told my several people that she has such a sweet Spirit, which I believe is God's love flowing through her. It has been almost 4 years since she entered my life, and I can't believe how fast time has flown.
My Mother's Days are so much better now, but my heart still aches for those women that are living the emotional hell I lived for 7-1/2 years. So, this Mother's Day, when you are celebrating those Moms that are in your life - whether your own or someone else, stop for a second, and say a prayer for those women in this world that are really suffering today because of lies they may believe about themselves - lies of being a failure, being unworthy, or being less of a woman. Truth be told, they don't realize the potential they have - either as a biological mom, an adoptive mother, or just a strong woman who can impact a generation of women to come.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone!!
I hope my blogs have inspired some of you to live better, appreciate life more, make better health choices, maybe even attempt something you never thought possible as I am attempting my own feat of losing weight. I have tried to add humor in each blog, but today, I wanted to inspire you to do something else. Think.
You see, for years, I hated Mother's Day. Not because I had a terrible mom or anything, but it was a reminder each year of what a failure I was because we didn't have kids, even though we had tried for years. I attended church service after church service of moms being honored for everything they had done, for loving their kids sacrificially, and for being just downright awesome. And with each word spoken of "You have done so much", I heard "You can't do anything." With "You are so awesome", I heard "You are a complete failure."
Most of you know my story. For those that don't, Bubba and I tried to have a baby for 7 years. I tried fertility medicine, diet, exercise, Metformin, and tons of prayer. I was devastated each month when I discovered I wasn't pregnant. Failure. Loser. Less of a woman. I had dreams of being pregnant and going to the hospital to have a baby, but I would wake before I saw the baby. Do you know what a disappointment that was? In August of 2007, I had a differnt dream. I was at the hospital, except I missed all the labor, and was holding a beautiful baby who had tons of hair and chubby cheeks. I kept saying, "I Can't Believe I'm A Mommy", and in that dream, I started singing, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His Word. Just to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord." I could finally see the baby. My heart soared, and then I woke up, devastated because it was so close, yet so far away.
In October of 2007, my doctor called me when I was home on my lunch break, and she informed me that my levels were lower than they had ever been. "Stacy, I will agree to do one more round of medicine, but if that doesn't fix it, I am afraid there is nothing else we can do." Those words hit me hard. I hung up the phone, collapsed onto the floor of my kitchen, and began to pray. Actually, it was more crying and sobbing than praying, but somewhere during the tears, I managed to pray, "God, I have been faithful. Your Word says You will be faithful to me. It's time I see it. I can't do this anymore." I continued to cry and weep. I can't describe in words how HARD I cried. So hard in fact, that I physically hurt after it was all over. I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my tears, and went back to work - red-faced and swollen eyed.
Two weeks later, we were helping some friends move, and I told my friend that I was 2 weeks late, and I figured I needed to go ahead and take a pregnancy test because that always seemed to trigger my body's natural response to your body is designed to do each month. A couple of days later, I stopped by Kroger and bought a test, ran through Burger King drive-thru, and went home. I called Bubba and told him what I had done, and he will tell you now, that he began to brace himself for me calling and crying because another month of failing was about to rear its ugly head. I went home, took the test, and sat down to eat my burger. I waited the 3 minutes, walked into the bathroom, and picked up the test. "Pregnant." I blinked a couple of times and looked again. "Pregnant". I started crying and saying, "Oh my God! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!" I called Bubba and attempted to form a sentence of "I'm pregnant!" After a couple of times of attempting it, Bubba finally said, "Baby, I love you, but I can't understand a word you are saying." I took a deep breath and said, "We're going to have a baby!" And after 7-1/2 years of trying, through months and months of tears and aggravation, my husband's response was "Cool". Cool? That still makes me laugh.
9 months later, after a problem free pregnancy, my beautiful daughter, Addisyn Dianne Sapp, was born. She had chubby cheeks a head full of hair just like in my dream.
 | ||
| Addisyn Dianne Sapp (2 weeks old) |
I couldn't believe that all my prayers, and literally dreams, had come true. She has blessed my life so much. I never thought I would enjoy being a mom as much as I have. I look at her sometimes and think, "Wow! She's really mine!!" I sometimes stare at her just so I can engrave her picture in my mind. The goodness of God is prevalent, and the tangible reminder of His promise and faithfulness to me sleeps across the hall from me each night. And she loves Jesus with everything she has. She prays for her teachers and friends. I have been told my several people that she has such a sweet Spirit, which I believe is God's love flowing through her. It has been almost 4 years since she entered my life, and I can't believe how fast time has flown.
 |
| Mother's Day 2011 |
My Mother's Days are so much better now, but my heart still aches for those women that are living the emotional hell I lived for 7-1/2 years. So, this Mother's Day, when you are celebrating those Moms that are in your life - whether your own or someone else, stop for a second, and say a prayer for those women in this world that are really suffering today because of lies they may believe about themselves - lies of being a failure, being unworthy, or being less of a woman. Truth be told, they don't realize the potential they have - either as a biological mom, an adoptive mother, or just a strong woman who can impact a generation of women to come.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone!!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Cheeseburgers or Self-Control
Yesterday was a bust!! I have been very good on my diet since Sunday. I have tracked everything I have eaten. Monday, I walked 2 miles, Tuesday 1 mile, Wednesday 1 mile (before church, I might add). I just knew it was going to be a better week. So, I decided to cheat and weigh yesterday morning. I usually weigh on Sundays, but I wanted to see how great my hard work had paid off. So, I step on the scale, and what did I see - nothing. NOT ONE SINGLE OUNCE!!! "How could this be?" I wondered. I did everything right. And that is when it happened - I was faced with a choice.
I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm stressed, sad, angry, bored, happy.....basically if I'm breathing, I can find a reason to eat. So, there I am - standing on the scale and I hear "What's the use?" My first response was to eat whatever I wanted this morning for breakfast. I posted on Facebook my dilemma, and a friend of mine basically said, "Yeah, a big, fat, greasy, calorie loaded cheeseburger would fix everything!" In the back of my mind, I rationalized it. I was mad. What was the use. I haven't had red meat in a month!! A month, people!!! I could already hear Whataburger calling my name.
Then reality sank in. So, I eat the cheeseburger, and then what's next? I gain more weight. I feel worse about myself. I eventually give up until I decide that it is time to start eating right again, and then I am at a higher weight that I was originally. So, I decided to go for self-control and eat right. I had a PB&J sandwich - everything weighed out and counted for. As one of my friend's described me, I am anal about it. Which I count as a good thing. I have to have structure.
All in all, I did good. I had a sandwich and Terra chips for lunch. I had 2 bottles of water, which is about 33 ounces of water, plus 3 glasses of tea at dinner.
Last night was Addisyn's Early Childhood Program at school. We have really struggled with her having stage fright, but she did great at her dance recital last week, and so I was hoping for her to do great lats night. And she did!! She was the best baker/locomotive engineer that she ever could be! And it was while she was standing there singing and dancing, that I remembered why I do what I am doing. It is because of her. I don't want her to grow up without a momma. I don't want my husband to have to raise her - the very miracle we prayed for together. It wouldn't be fair to him or to her to make them do it on their own because I chose to love cheeseburgers more than them. And isn't that what it boils down to? I love my food and the feeling of comfort more than I love the idea of being with them for the next 40 years.
So - in that light, cheeseburgers or self control? I pick self-control, and in doing so, I pick my family.
I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm stressed, sad, angry, bored, happy.....basically if I'm breathing, I can find a reason to eat. So, there I am - standing on the scale and I hear "What's the use?" My first response was to eat whatever I wanted this morning for breakfast. I posted on Facebook my dilemma, and a friend of mine basically said, "Yeah, a big, fat, greasy, calorie loaded cheeseburger would fix everything!" In the back of my mind, I rationalized it. I was mad. What was the use. I haven't had red meat in a month!! A month, people!!! I could already hear Whataburger calling my name.
Then reality sank in. So, I eat the cheeseburger, and then what's next? I gain more weight. I feel worse about myself. I eventually give up until I decide that it is time to start eating right again, and then I am at a higher weight that I was originally. So, I decided to go for self-control and eat right. I had a PB&J sandwich - everything weighed out and counted for. As one of my friend's described me, I am anal about it. Which I count as a good thing. I have to have structure.
All in all, I did good. I had a sandwich and Terra chips for lunch. I had 2 bottles of water, which is about 33 ounces of water, plus 3 glasses of tea at dinner.
Last night was Addisyn's Early Childhood Program at school. We have really struggled with her having stage fright, but she did great at her dance recital last week, and so I was hoping for her to do great lats night. And she did!! She was the best baker/locomotive engineer that she ever could be! And it was while she was standing there singing and dancing, that I remembered why I do what I am doing. It is because of her. I don't want her to grow up without a momma. I don't want my husband to have to raise her - the very miracle we prayed for together. It wouldn't be fair to him or to her to make them do it on their own because I chose to love cheeseburgers more than them. And isn't that what it boils down to? I love my food and the feeling of comfort more than I love the idea of being with them for the next 40 years.
So - in that light, cheeseburgers or self control? I pick self-control, and in doing so, I pick my family.
Monday, May 7, 2012
I Can't Feel My Feet!!
So, today hasn't been too bad of a day. I have really tried to focus, and even though I may not have made the best choices, I made better ones than I have in the past.
A friend of mine turned me on to My Fitness Pal, which will scan bar codes of foods you eat versus having to manually enter everything you eat. Uh - yes, please. I may be technologically challenged at times, but hey - I can figure out some things. I have fallen in love with it. I am telling everyone who will stand still long enough. So, if you see me walking toward you with my phone in hand, this is your fair warning that I will be like an Amway salesman showing you my newest product!!
I have decided that I needed to start exercising. So, after I came home and made dinner (turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, baked beans), I got Addisyn in the tub and got her ready for bed and went to face the beast. This monstrosity of a contraption called the treadmill. Now, for those who love to exercise, I am pretty sure I heard your hearts swoon. However, I am pretty sure that sound was almost completely drowned out by my screams of "NOOOOOOOOO!" But, I know that I have to do this in order to make any notable progress.
I got changed, climbed on, and set off. Okay, not too bad. I had Investigation Discovery on, the "Cool Breeze Fan" on the treadmill blowing, my bottle of water next to me, and my phone beside me in case I need to dial 911. "I can do this" I kept repeating to myself. I started the trek to nowhere.
I eased into it. "Doing good," I told myself. I move the speed up some. Okay, now we're trucking. Addisyn came running into the bedroom trying to figure out what the noise was. After she saw what I was doing, she stayed - which I think was an attempt to make sure she was there if I needed her to go get Daddy! haha
You know that point in your workout where you are feeling good, like you are the newest Jillian Michaels, and you decide that this isn't hard enough for you? "Let's try running." Now, for those of you that know me, I tend to live by Jason Harrison's motto - if you see me running, you better run too because something is out to get me!! So, I decide to run during the commercials. Okay, I will be honest with you and tell you the last time I ran was in high school when the gym teacher was yelling at you to run and it happened to be the day I forgot to forge an excuse note from my mom before getting to class. People - that has been almost 18 years ago!! But, I am happy to announce that I ran between 2 commercial breaks; not the entire breaks, but at least a minute of each one. Hey - that is good for me.
The timer went off. I walked 48:57 and walked 2 miles exactly. That isn't a great time, but the equivalent of 1/2 my dinner, so that is pretty good. Only question now is - am I not supposed to be able to feel my feet????
A friend of mine turned me on to My Fitness Pal, which will scan bar codes of foods you eat versus having to manually enter everything you eat. Uh - yes, please. I may be technologically challenged at times, but hey - I can figure out some things. I have fallen in love with it. I am telling everyone who will stand still long enough. So, if you see me walking toward you with my phone in hand, this is your fair warning that I will be like an Amway salesman showing you my newest product!!
I have decided that I needed to start exercising. So, after I came home and made dinner (turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, baked beans), I got Addisyn in the tub and got her ready for bed and went to face the beast. This monstrosity of a contraption called the treadmill. Now, for those who love to exercise, I am pretty sure I heard your hearts swoon. However, I am pretty sure that sound was almost completely drowned out by my screams of "NOOOOOOOOO!" But, I know that I have to do this in order to make any notable progress.
I got changed, climbed on, and set off. Okay, not too bad. I had Investigation Discovery on, the "Cool Breeze Fan" on the treadmill blowing, my bottle of water next to me, and my phone beside me in case I need to dial 911. "I can do this" I kept repeating to myself. I started the trek to nowhere.
I eased into it. "Doing good," I told myself. I move the speed up some. Okay, now we're trucking. Addisyn came running into the bedroom trying to figure out what the noise was. After she saw what I was doing, she stayed - which I think was an attempt to make sure she was there if I needed her to go get Daddy! haha
You know that point in your workout where you are feeling good, like you are the newest Jillian Michaels, and you decide that this isn't hard enough for you? "Let's try running." Now, for those of you that know me, I tend to live by Jason Harrison's motto - if you see me running, you better run too because something is out to get me!! So, I decide to run during the commercials. Okay, I will be honest with you and tell you the last time I ran was in high school when the gym teacher was yelling at you to run and it happened to be the day I forgot to forge an excuse note from my mom before getting to class. People - that has been almost 18 years ago!! But, I am happy to announce that I ran between 2 commercial breaks; not the entire breaks, but at least a minute of each one. Hey - that is good for me.
The timer went off. I walked 48:57 and walked 2 miles exactly. That isn't a great time, but the equivalent of 1/2 my dinner, so that is pretty good. Only question now is - am I not supposed to be able to feel my feet????
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